Anticipated surprise

Just as anticipated, there was a surprise in store if you had been following recent developments. Instead of diarrhea, this morning's stools were soft but shapely (like short little sausages) and kind of sticky. Will the short sausages become longer tomorrow? It's anybody's guess.

Getting softer

This morning's dump was softer and fluffier than yesterday's. If things continue in this direction, I should be anticipating some kind of diarrhea tomorrow. Or will there be another surprise in store?

Still normal

A little bit on the soft side, but otherwise the delivery this morning was quite normal.

Quick recovery

This morning's dump was smooth and firm, pretty much in line with the recovery in the global equity market. I should really contemplate using stools to predict market movement. Wait, does that make me an ANALyst?